I've haven't been keeping up with the blog since I've been job hunting for most of the first half of 2016. But now that I don't have to stress out about looking for a job, I can get back to this blog to write about the most ridiculous episode so far: It's a Dog's Life. We begin with the greatest episode recap at the start of the episode that features a dog in jail, literally. The costumers did restrain themselves by not dressing the dog in an orange jumpsuit or black and white stripped clothes. And then time for the theme that I will never get tired of hearing!
We open on horses in the field, a fancy house with columns, and someone making a horse named Sawdust eat a pill, without having to coat the pill in anything like sugar or peanut butter, which I would have thought was necessary. But what do I know about doping (or duping if you are Red Skelton/Jack Sprat) a horse. Based on the glove and arm, the doper/duper looks like it may be female. We then go to a hunting party with a very theme appropriate string quartet. Trish flirts with a married man, drinks too much, and annoys her brother Spencer (Jared Martin). Trish also introduces her niece, Echo (Cherie Currie), and says that Echo is into subwolfers, tweeters, and heavy metal. When those 3 things are put altogether means it that Echo is into Electronic Music. Oh, the 80s! We meet Morganna who is a late stage hippy with an interest in auras. She is also Echo's mother (so Trish and Spencer's sister). And then the glorious JF rolls up with the family patriarch Denton Langley, admiring a painting of a horse that I assume is supposed to be like a Stubbs painting. Denton introduces JF to his dear friend Tom (Forrest Tucker!!!). I'm assuming that the only reason Forest Tucker is in this episode is his experience in filmed hunting party scenes JF is there visiting her cousin Abby (Lynn Redgrave). Abby is English (and 20ish years younger than JF) so of course she loves horses and dogs (and maybe clocks, but we don't see any evidence of that). JF is mildly famous to this group, and she weirdly negs herself by saying that she is not a good rider. And Denton makes subtext text by saying the he is loaded. We find out that this hunting party is in honor of Denton's 80th birthday. Most importantly, we meet Denton's dog Teddy, in his pre-convict days. Also, Teddy is only thing that Denton loves. He likes Abby, but he hates his human family, that's obvious! Time for the hunt!
Trish does what everyone would do, as she downs a cocktail before getting on her horse to ride. Abby doesn't want Trish to ride in her inebriated state; saying it is dangerous for the horse (and the rider, presumably). Trish basically tells Abby to piss off and that Abby's days at the farm are limited to the number of days Denton is alive (red flag!). Abby remarks to JF that Denton's family are garbage. Denton brings by two tame horses for Abby and JF, which seems unneeded for Abby, the horse trainer. The gates open and the hunt commences to the rousing Symphony 6 (Pastoral) by Beethoven. The hunt moves along very bucolically until it isn't! Sawdust reacts poorly to the sound of the horn and takes off while Denton is struggling to regain control. Sawdust leaps over a hedge while Denton yells Tally-ho (seriously!). Then Denton falls to his death - in slow-motion! I don't mean to belittle this character's fake death, but there is a close-up on the actor very gently pulling on the reins before we go to a wide shot of the stunt double trying to stop the horse. Abby and JF are nearby and JF looks pretty spry getting off that horse (or maybe that was Angela Lansbury's stunt person). Teddy is now on the scene, licking Denton's face.
Cut to some police officer placing his jacket over Denton and Tom looking very sad (and comforting those two delicate flowers, Abby and JF). All three talk with the sheriff and the vet (who claims that Sawdust, I assume like Mediation from Auntie Mame, is clear off in the next county by now). JF wants the vet to run a test on Sawdust, but the tests comeback negative for drugs. Abby is inclined to chalk this up to Sawdust metabolizing the drug since it took so long for the vet to catch Sawdust. The timing between when Sawdust was drugged to when he freaks out with Denton in the saddle is unknown. Abby is convinced that Denton's death was not accidental and throws shade on Denton's family. JF offers to stay with Abby until the will is read to comfort Abby after her loss.
On the day of the will reading, all Deton's children are pre-gaming (except Morganna who is drinking tea so she can read the tea leaves, of course). Marcus Boswell (Dean Jones), Denton's lawyer, rolls up, but not in Herbie the Love Bug, unfortunately. Boswell breaks out a videotape, because since it is the 80s, Denton embraced the "latest in will technology" and did a video will. Denton takes the time in his will to yell as his children from beyond the grave. We find out that Spencer is a disgusting lobbyist for dictators (again, so 80s). Trish is scolded for being a drunk and maneater; Morganna is accused of being a hippy and flighty and having a superficial daughter with a "unique haircut". We get down to brass tacks; Denton leaves his shotgun to Tom, money for the staff, and donates his paintings to the National Gallery (A+, Denton!) Then Denton pulls a Leona Helmsely, and leaves his money to Teddy (not Abby as Trish feared). Denton embraces Teddy on film and then out trots Teddy to bark and look cute. Echo is then pointing out the obvious saying "This is insane! Teddy's a dog". Spencer says that they will try to break the will but Boswell points out there is a clause will that cuts out anyone who tries to do that. And if anything happens to Teddy, all the money with go to the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. Sad trombone...
Cut to JF on the phone to her Cabot Cove boyfriend,Ethan, telling him that she will be staying at the farm a little bit longer. She and Abby have some investigating to do! And then we go to Abby trying to help Trish with a horse which is basically Trish butting heads with Abby, with she (Abby) insisting that she works for Teddy now, not the rest of the Langleys. Morganna tells Abby to be careful of Trish for astrological reasons (Trish's Gemini is rising). But Morganna and Abby are distracted by Teddy (a beagle) cornering Spencer in a stable. The vet comes a-calling and says that Teddy was drugged and must have bitten someone: there is blood on his collar! The sheriff rolls up with some guy named Potts accusing Teddy of attacking him and biting his arm. Potts insists that Teddy should be put down and Spencer agrees. Teddy gets arrested I guess. I can only assume that is what happens because Boswell calls Abby to tell him that Teddy got RORed (released on his own recognizance). Now, I have watched a lot of Law and Order (I think I have seen every episode from season 4 to season 20; I don't watch any pre-Jerry Orbach seasons), so I have seen many, many bail hearing and not that many people are RORed (especially for murder/manslaughter cases). Murder, She Wrote has done the world a disservice but not making that bail hearing a scene in this show. I guess Boswell argued that Teddy wasn't a flight risk and he has ties to the community. Abby can go retrieve Teddy from the sheriff's department. She and JF suspects that the person who doped of Sawdust/murdered Denton and the person who doped Teddy are one in the same.
Now, we get some background info on Potts. Specifically he is a well-known liar and this time he may be a liar for hire (by trying to sue the Langley). Abby and JF head to Boswell's office just in time to see him have some weird interaction with Morganna and Gary, a DC lawyer, with a specialty in will-breaking. They overhear demands for Boswell to call his broker. Boswell says that Gary's angle for breaking the will is to determine that Teddy, the beagle, is not of sound mind. How would you prove or disprove that a dog is of sound mind? There are so many strange legal issues that are part of this episode. Boswell's secretary comes in demanding that Boswell talk to his broker. The broker demands payment for something, indicating that Boswell is broke. Serving as the executor of the Langley estate could be a big payday for him. We learn that a tip from Spencer lead to Boswell losing a lot of money, his the only consolation being that Spencer lost even more money.
Now we head off to the security office at Langley Estate with Barnes opening the door to a whining Teddy. We learn both that Teddy comes to see Barnes everyday at the same time and that Barnes is leaving his post as soon as the paintings go to DC. One of the TV monitors shows a drunken Trish buzzing to open the gate and then falling down. Barnes heads out to see if Trish is okay and leaves Teddy to man (or dog) the office. As Barnes heads down to the gate (and hears a bird call), he sees that the gate is closing shut on Trish's head and kills her. Cut to Teddy in the security office. The only way the gate could have been shut is if Teddy had pushed the button! The police roll in (as does lawyer Boswell) and the cops dust the gate button for (paw) prints. Morganna claims to have seen Trish's ghost and crying like a mourning dove (which doesn't sound like the bird calls being played when Barnes headed down to the gate). She also says that she is only one with a room with a view of the gate. Morganna is up nights because that is when her aura thrives. Oh, and she looked out the window because she heard a car horn. When the sheriff announces to Boswell and the rest of the residents of Langley estates that the police recovered a paw print from the gate button, the Langley family gets excited. They hope that means that Teddy will be put down. Spencer insists that Teddy should be euthanized because the dog has murdered Trish. Boswell asks if the sheriff can seriously believe that a dog is capable of murder. Abby helpfully points out that of course a dog would have to be trained to do it. Remember, Abby is a horse AND dog trainer.
Tom comes by in his old beat-up truck because he heard about the events at the Langley Estates over his CB radio (again, the early 80s). JF surveys the police working the scene and offers to help a deputy(?) fold Trish's fur coat. JF notices that the coat looks new but that the seams are starting to split. JF is a master of observation or maybe just a woman. JF kicks her investigating into high gear as she interviews Barnes and finds out that the security office locks automatically and Barnes has the only key. JF is sure that Teddy was the one who pushed the button but she suspects that was someone trained him to do so. We learn that Barnes' view of the gate was obstructed during his walk down to the gate.
We head to the kitchen to see JF and Abby sharing a spot of tea. Boswell comes in to get some ice so the rest of the Langley family can start drinking. While Boswell is on the stepladder getting the ice bucket down from a shelf, JF observes that he has a grease stain on his trouser leg. Boswell explains it away as a result of having to change a tire a half-mile from the house. Since no one drove by Boswell, it means that the killer must be someone in the household. Abby explains how someone might train a dog to push a button through either a verbal or an auditory command. Abby and JF rejoin the rest of the household just in time to hear Boswell insist that anyone trying to frame Teddy won't get away with it. Abby blows up JF's spot by announcing that JF has figured out the mystery. They won't get away with using Teddy to kill Trish. JF discusses the crime and notes that Trish didn't speak into the intercom, just buzzed the office. JF suggests that someone else (pretending to be Trish) fell in front of the gate and then when Barnes left the office, jumped up and placed an unconscious Trish in the path of the gate. Morganna saw this but didn't understand what it meant. JF insists that someone has trained Teddy to respond to a whistle, but the only whistle that they find belongs to Abby, wah-wah.
Cut to the jailhouse with now both Abby and Teddy in prison. Boswell and JF try to convince the sheriff that Abby had no motive but the sheriff tells them that they are wasting their breath. He states that the inquest is going to be on Friday and Teddy is going to be held as an accessory after the fact. Based on my L&O knowledge, Teddy is a accessory to the murder, not after the fact. If Teddy were harboring Abby somewhere, then he would be an accessory after the fact. The sheriff maintains that Denton's death was accidental and then good ol' boys JF out of his office.
On the ride back to Langley estates, Boswell drops JF off about 1/2 mile away so she can walk/observe the area where Boswell claims to have had his flat tire. Will, the deputy that she was friendly with before, stops when he sees her. JF tels him she is looking for a bicycle clip. Later we see JF on a horse asking Echo if she has seen Spencer. JF wants to talk with Potts and heads off on the horse (despite her claims to the contrary, JF looks like a pretty competent horsewoman - or maybe that is her stunt-double). JF stumbles on Potts without his bandage and discovers he was faking his injury. Unfortunately, Spencer was at Potts' farm as well, and now JF is a hostage. She tries to talk Potts down, as he claims he had been the jail before and he isn't going back. Obviously murdering someone is a good way to avoid jail time. JF tells Spencer that she figured out Trish's murder and his interest overwhelms Potts' desire to kill JF and plant her in the orchard. On to the inquest!
The inquest begins with JF acting as a friend of the court and explaining how Teddy was trained to push the button. She and deputy Will show that an ultrasonic whistle could not be heard over the intercom. JF points out that Spencer's attempt to discredit Teddy and the murder of Trish were actually two separate incidences. She says that Boswell, in need of money, convinced Trish to drug Sawdust with reminders of her inheritance. Of course, Boswell knew that Trish was not going to inherit and so planned for the eventuality of having to eliminate her. He got Trish drunk and unconscious and then planned on riding away on his bike. But he forgot his bicycle clip and thus got a grease stain from the bike chain. JF observed the tire tracks from Boswell's car and found no evidence of one tire being flat; all the tires were evenly worn. Will then plays the bird call over the intercom and Teddy pushes the button and goes over to Boswell for his treat. Boswell then dissolves into the tears as JF has solved another one!
For the wrap up, Abby says that she is looking forward to returning to Kent. Tom comes over to take Teddy and says that he is going to give the money to people who need if more than he does. He then insists that the rest of Langley family get jobs. He plops Teddy into the back of his truck and as he pulls away, we see that he has started a new business - Cassidy Kennels, prize winning beagles and home of the millionaire stud. We finally establish that all this took place in Virginia. I spent much of the episode trying to figure out the location. I thought it was near DC but they kept saying "run down to DC" . Well, DC is north of Virginia. But I maintain that they didn't implicitly say that is took place in Virginia because this episode is insulting to the Virginia justice system!
Famous Guest Stars: Dean Jones (famous for driving Herbie, the Love Bug), Lynn Redgrave (of the Redgrave acting dynasty, her most famous role is from Georgie Girl), Cherie Currie (from the Runaways!), and most importantly Forest Tucker (aka Beuregard Jackson Pickett Burnside from the great Auntie Mame, he was also in the less good Crawling Eye with the actress that played Katie in Darby O'Gill and the Little People. I want it to be known I have only seen the Crawling Eye because of Mystery Science Theater 3000); Jared Martin (he looks very familiar, according to iMDB he was on Dallas for a long time, guest starred on about 30 shows during the 70s and 80s and was on the TV version of The Fanstastic Voyage).
Relative Count: 1 Nephew, 1 Niece, 1 cousin (who is English)
Body locations: On the other side of a hedge, in the gate of a fancy estate
Remaining Episode Count: 253
This was a long post, but still fun to read. I want to watch this episode!
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